Is this what you want Facebook to look like in the future? A social media network that already knows that it is more powerful than Christ and therefore takes it upon itself to become sort of ‘truth gateway’ so that those poor readers don’t get suckered by content that is clearly designed to be ENTERTAINING and not MISLEADING. 

Hello I’m Chief Reporter. You may remember me from such stories as the M25 closing for a week to cater for joggers and Mr Tumble getting suspended over a failed CRB check.

Southend News Network has already seen the effects of Facebook’s ‘crackdown’ on fake news first hand. Some of our images and videos get seen by millions of people all over the world (our recent Snow Song is now approaching 2m views).

However, as soon as we link to southendnewsnetwork.com, the results are extraordinary! Before the November 2015 US election, our small but growing fan base would usually see whenever we released a ‘news story.

Today, Facebook’s News Feed Algorithm buries our stuff faster than a dog who likes to bury things very quickly for some reason.

Unfortunately, it is now well-known that Facebook pissed its pants when everyone started blaming them for letting us fake news sites run riot and get Trump elected. The result for both SNN and a number of other fake news sites of our size and scale is that they are now doing everything in their power to ‘mug us off’ for want of a better phrase.

Here’s the real bitch. Looking at some of the bigger and more established pages, it is clear that Facebook is playing favourites!

We thought that we were being paranoid, and so we asked an experienced London-based web analysis company to look into it. Money well spent – it turns out that we were right!

On a regular basis, people who read our posts get Facebook ‘suggestions’ to like Britain First or Jayda Fransen, the deputy leader of that shower of c*nts. We get screenshots of this nearly every day.

What the hell? Our stories upset those morons on a regular basis, and they get shown up as the racists and bigots that they truly are. To the less-informed reader, a suggestion to like Britain First is just going to be a massive red flag. ‘Oh those Southend News Network guys, they would probably storm a mosque and leave bacon sandwiches everywhere!’

What can we do about this? F**k all, basically. We only really have a major presence on Facebook, and so we can’t just bugger off to that other world-famous social media network with a massive user base.

This is why we have started a petition to get The Daily Mail reclassified as a FAKE NEWS OUTLET on Facebook. While we try to ENTERTAIN people, we feel that the DM twists the news to deliberately MISLEAD. We’re getting close to 5,000 signatures now, which sort of says a lot really.

Once it hits 5K, we will be thinking of a suitably humorous way to deliver it to the DM HQ.