Our Christmas single and official music video for Dartford Tolls are now ready to go! The clean and the not-so-clean versions of the festive tune about the daily nightmare at the Dartford Tunnel and Bridge will be available to download and stream from December 2nd, and the song is all about the queues, frustration and the lie that the crossing would be FREE when the construction costs were fully paid for – it’s 2016 and motorists are still having to put their hands in their pockets to get across. You can already pre-order the tune on iTunes here – TAKE A LOOK.

If you are looking at this in Scotland, Wales or Yorkshire and thinking ‘What does it have to do with me,’ remember that this is a protest song all about the fact that the British motorist is sick and tired of being lied to and having exorbitant costs slapped upon their daily journeys. Anyone who has sat in front of a red light at the Dartford Tunnel for no apparent reason will understand this pain as well! Here is the official music video:

If you are watching the official video above and thinking ‘What happened to the not suitable for work, expletive-filled assault that originally got more than ONE MILLION VIEWS on Facebook?,’ don’t worry! The explicit version of the song will also be released, and you can see the original video below:

We honestly have no idea how this will all work out – pop music has never been Southend News Network’s field of expertise! However, with the beautiful voice of Essex singing sensation Annie Humphrey of Frog On A Rocket there will always be an outside chance of a big upset.

Proceeds from the release will be split between Shelter and the British Heart Foundation. As a leading homelessness charity, Shelter needs help at this time of year more than ever, and the BHF is a cause that is very close to Annie personally. She lost her father to a sudden heart attack virtually eight years before the day that the song is released on December 2nd.

We have to thank Jon Morter for all of his help in making this happen. The man who masterminded the Rage Against The Machine social media campaign for the top spot for Christmas 2009 put us in touch with record label Nub Music who have also given us valuable help throughout the whole process.

The track will be published by Orchard Music who are owned by Sony, and this means that it will be able to buy, download and stream in as many digital locations as possible.

Take a look at the lyrics if you fancy learning the tune off by heart. You never know, you may be singing it over and over again for years to come!

Junction 31,
Of the M25,
We’ve not moved an inch,
I don’t know why I drive.
The Dartford Bridge is shut,
The tunnel’s screwed as well,
I’m late for work and I must pay,
£2.50 for this hell.

Oh, Dartford Tolls, Dartford Tolls,
Nightmare all the way,
I left home Tuesday lunchtime,
And now it’s Saturday,
Oh, Dartford Tolls, Dartford Tolls,
You said it would be free,
Obviously that was codswallop,
Of the first degree.

You took away the booths,
Those coin baskets were great,
Watching some French guy throw and miss,
Made it worth the wait,
You said it would be easier,
But it’s an utter joke,
If you commute across the Thames,
Then you’ll be stony broke.

Oh, Dartford Tolls, Dartford Tolls,
Tailback paradise,
Just go round the other way,
Is really bad advice.
Oh, Dartford Tolls, Dartford Tolls
Look I got a fine,
Shove the tunnel and the bridge,
Right where the sun don’t shine.