A 53-year-old woman browsing through the organic panty liners in Waitrose has sensationally slammed the critically-acclaimed Ken Loach film I, Daniel Blake for having ‘shocking inaccuracies’ about living with cuts to benefits after being wrongly told that you are ‘fit for work.’

Miranda Aytoss told Southend News Network’s Chief Reporter that the entire movie was a ‘huge misrepresentation’ of benefit claimants because the entire film didn’t include a single scene with a Staffordshire Terrier being held with a piece of rope or a branch of William Hill.

She added: ‘My home near the seafront in Thorpe Bay is just 2.8 miles from an area that I would describe as being ‘deprived,’ and I draw upon this life experience when I say that having a serious heart attack would ever truly render any decent human being as unfit for work.’

‘Even a lifeless corpse could be deployed as a flood barrier when sandbags are running low, or possibly even a non-elected local government official. This is Soft Touch Britain gone crazy.’

‘My grandfather didn’t fight for his country so that my husband’s hard earned commodities market profits could be taxed to prop up people who decide that they can’t get a paper round because of some cardiac triviality. This is why I voted for Brexit.’

‘You can create any impression you want on the big screen if you have a point to make through the use of acting and words and scenery and other tricks – I for one can see right through Ken Loach’s disgraceful indoctrination.’

‘If he wanted to make a real tear-jerker, he could have made ‘I, Jemima-Fringe Murphy’ about my good friend who got wolf-whistled by some unshaven construction workers in Southend Town Centre.’

‘She still insists that she feels violated three months later. One of them was even wearing Slazenger.’

‘If I am being honest, the whole film just doesn’t ring true for me.’