A spokesperson for the UK Border Force has confirmed that a ‘child’ from Peru is to be deported after dental tests confirmed that he was actually 58 years old. 

The unnamed individual was chosen for random testing as the latest group of unaccompanied children arrived at a West London train station – witnesses said he was carrying a single suitcase and had no planned family in mind to look after him. 

Our source added: ‘As the group of children were getting off the train, a reception committee was waiting at the end of the platform – this included the Tory MP Cruella John-Lewis who instantly had a look of suspicion.’

‘In her capacity as a Home Office minister, she  asked a police officer to take the individual to one side and remove him for dental testing to prove that he was of the correct age to be referred to as a child.’

‘A few hours later, the results came back and it was clear that he was in fact 58 years old – he had been trying to conceal his age by wearing a child’s duffel coat and an old red bush hat.’

Mrs John-Lewis told Southend News Network that the government reserves the right to check the age of all unaccompanied child refugees arriving in the UK in order to ‘help those who are in the greatest need of help.’

She added: ‘A UK Border Force officer had already flagged this individual to us before I asked for his age to be checked. He was overheard saying that he ‘would kill for a marmalade sandwich,’ and there were concerns that he had been radicalised in some way.’

‘When his suitcase was checked, our officers found a secret compartment that could have been used to conceal a weapon or a jar of preserves. All of this justified our decision to have his age checked scientifically.’

‘We also noticed that he was being incredibly polite and courteous throughout the whole experience, as if he was hiding something. His English was immaculate.’