A spokesperson for the Southend Street Parking Federation has confirmed that a number of local parking bye-laws have been RELAXED ahead of tonight’s 2016 Southend Carnival.
Gerald En Croache of the SSPF spoke to Southend News Network earlier today to say that the ‘liberal’ attitude to parking enforcement within 3 miles of the town centre should bring thousands of extra visitors to the carnival procession and nearby attractions.
He said: ‘Local traffic enforcement officers have been instructed to apply common sense protocols until midnight on Saturday evening within a 3-mile radius of Southend Town centre.’
‘In reality, this means that visitors will be able to park across driveways, provided that the homeowner isn’t inconvenienced – this simple measure will instantly create thousands of extra spaces.’
‘We would advise motorists to knock on doors if time allows, but we will understand if visitors are in a hurry to claim a prime viewing spot on the seafront.’
‘Although residents may be inconvenienced by this decision, we will ensure that an extra 500 officials are on patrol shortly after midnight so that anyone abusing the arrangements can be punished.’
‘In addition, parking on grass verges and double yellow lines will be tolerated as long as there is no threat to passing traffic or pedestrians.’
‘We understand that some existing yellow lines are in pretty dumb places anyway and it would probably be better if everyone could just park wherever the f*ck they like.’
A spokesperson for the East London / West Essex Clapped Out Overcrowded Toyota Previa Alliance said that the announcement was ‘amazing news.’