A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace has confirmed that Queen Elizabeth II called an emergency 3am meeting for all of her staff this morning over ‘unexplained’ charges that had appeared on the palace’s Sky bill.
Although many people were expecting some sort of announcement about the health of Her Majesty or Prince Philip, It soon became clear that she was ‘furious’ about £134-worth of adult movies that had been charged to the royal household.
Our source said: ‘She stormed into the Great Convening Chamber with a face like thunder, and I overheard her muttering something about needing to change a PIN code.’
‘She took her seat on the throne in front of around 400 people that had been summoned from all over the UK, and announced that she wanted someone to own up to purchasing eight different soft-core movies through Sky Box Office.’
‘As she read through the list of titles to see if anyone would confess, quite a few people started giggling when she announced ‘Rear Admirals 7,’ while her more senior aides assumed it was some sort of naval epic.’
‘Her face actually turned red with rage when the Lord Chamberlain started explaining the plot of ‘Tits A Wonderful Life.’
‘Prince Philip started looking very cagey at this point, and that’s when he knew he had been rumbled.’
‘Her Majesty belted him round the head with the nearest sceptre and the meeting was brought to an end.’
This isn’t the first time that there has been controversy in the palace over the Sky account.
In 2014, emergency funding had to be allocated from the Treasury after one of the Queen’s corgis got hold of a remote control and accidentally ordered the WWF Royal Rumble 1354 times.