A spokesperson for Essex Police has confirmed that officers have attended what has been described as a ‘late scale gathering’ in Southend Town Centre this evening. 

According to a brief statement, roughly 800 people had gathered in Seaway Car Park for a dogging and cruising event designed to get around the current injunction put in place by Southend Borough Council. 

Shane Steamer runs Scooby Boobies, one of the groups who attended tonight’s gathering, and he told Southend News Network that modified car enthusiasts had been left with no alternative. 

He said: ‘Our group allows Subaru owners in the South East to get together, look at each other’s fancy neon lights, and then get back into our vehicles to watch willing volunteers shag each other in the bushes.’

‘Although Southend Borough Council has taken out an injunction against car meets in the area, we have discovered a loophole that allows our events to go ahead if there is an element of alternative sexual activity.’

‘Provided that at least 5% of those attending allow spectators to watch their most intimate moments, the local police cannot touch us. The cops only attended tonight to offer us some advice.’

PC Ernest Peacie told our Chief Reporter that his officers were only able to warn participants against the dangers of choosing the wrong kind of shrub for cover for a minimal amount of privacy. 

He added: ‘Legally we are currently powerless to stop them from meeting, but their safety is paramount at all times as they are in a public car park.’

‘A few people tonight were perilously close to rose bushes, and they could have easily punctured something unthinkable if they had got carried away in the fun of it all.’

Cllr Nigel Hoohaa (UKIP, Foulness North) told us that ‘mistakes had been made’ when the latest injunction against car cruise meets was taken out. 

He said: ‘We debated adding the term ‘dogging’ to the latest injunction, but out only problem was that the simple act of ‘dogging’ can also refer to dog walking under European legislation.’

‘Therefore, we are trying to find a solution as quickly as possible, such as converting Two Tree Island into a ‘controlled zone.’