There is currently a full-scale evacuation in progress at West Ham United’s London Stadium.
Although no suspicious packages have been found, a 25-foot hole has been uncovered in the Hammers’ penalty area.
West Ham’s Top Boy Smudge ‘Smudger’ Smudgington said: ‘It all went a bit pear-shaped when the fifth goal went in.’
‘At least I think it was a goal. It’s a bit hard to see from my seat 13 miles away from the touch line.’
Shortly after full time, a spokesperson for West Ham confirmed that Andy Carroll will be out for nine months after fracturing his ankle while heading in a consolation goal for the home team.