Take a look at our comprehensive guide to opening your own trendy, hipster, or generally ‘up its own arse’ restaurant in Leigh On Sea …

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So there you have it. Le Pamplemousse Confondu, eat your heart out. With thanks to @snorewell on Twitter ūüôā

DISCLAIMER: ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ANY LEIGH ON SEA DINING ESTABLISHMENT, HIPSTER OR OTHERWISE, IN ENTIRELY INTENTIONAL.