Sources within the highly secretive state of North Korea have confirmed that Eternal Leader Kim Jong-Un was FURIOUS yesterday when his latest ballistic missile test only reached ‘a bit miffed’ before plunging into the Sea of Japan.
The Yonhap news agency in Seoul confirmed the rumours a few hours ago.
A correspondent said: ‘This is latest embarrassing missile launch failure for the regime, and to make matters worse this one couldn’t even reach ‘mildly moody.’
‘As it took off, everyone had high hopes as it passed through ‘solemn’ and ‘scornful,’ but he joy was short lived as it crashed into the water while making a ‘hmmmm’ noise and puffing out a short gasp of air.’
‘According to one witness, Kim was seen jumping up and down and yelling obscenities Apparently, he screamed ‘Look how ballistic I am right now, this is what we need to aim for.’
‘You call that a missile? We’d be better off sending the rocket from Button fucking Moon over to Washington.’
‘That talking bottle of Domestos was scary as shit you know. That’ll teach those damn imperialist pig dogs.’
‘To be fair, I’m still pissed off about Team America: World Police – the way that they treated Matt Damon and George Clooney was disgusting.’
‘My dad was beside himself when it came out. His glasses were all wrong as well.’
It has been a troubled few weeks for Kim’s missile ambitions after a number of failures.