FIRST CONVOY OF FACEBOOK LIKES ARRIVES IN ALEPPO

A spokesperson for the UN has confirmed that the first batch of Facebook likes has arrived in war-torn Aleppo in Syria. 

According to reporters and photojournalists on the ground, families frantically gathered around the truck as the first handfuls of likes were unloaded – buckets of comments were also siphoned off to be taken to the sick and infirm.

Dr Jerome Fuqal of Médécins Sans Frontières said that a number of children were dancing around piles of rubble while holding their likes  high in the air.

He added: ‘Some of these people haven’t eaten properly for weeks and as a result they are on the verge of severe malnutrition. However, you should have seen the look on one young boy’s face when he held the like down and it turned into a ‘Haha’ emoticon.’

‘The warmth of that moment will easily sustain him for another three months.’

With the help of an interpreter, 11-year-old Mustafa Al Arya told a local press reporter that he was ‘touched’ when he saw that his like had been sent from a 39-year-old city trader from London.

He said: ‘I used Facebook to find out more about the kind man who had sent me this like, and it turns out that he is a trader for a company called Scuddington Razer – his new BMW looks the sh*t as well.’

‘They basically act as an arms broker for the Russian army, so he probably had some sort of indirect role in the destruction of my family home. His like means a lot though – it shows me that there is some humanity left on this crazy ass planet.’

A source within UNICEF confirmed that five trucks of retweets will also be arriving ‘any day now.’

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *