A family pet dog from Westcliff On Sea has told Southend News Network that he is dreading the upcoming annual ‘onslaught’ of WALKING IN THE AIR on every poxy radio station every five minutes.

According to seven-year-old Jack Russell Terrier Nathan of Fairfax Drive, the 1982 festive tune sung by Aled Jones ‘boils his piss’ every time it is played – he admits that he has never enjoyed a single Christmas because of it. 

He added: ‘Nothing sets my ears and teeth on edge like that Welsh bastard – he hits frequencies that make my owner’s Barkbuster seem like a baritone sax.’

‘To top it all off, he’s on TV the rest of the year going on about all that God stuff. He probably gets twenty grand every time Channel 4 rolls out The Snowman.’

‘No other song does that to me other than the last bar of Loving You by Minnie Riperton. She can sod right off an’ all.’

In a late development, a spokesperson confirmed that that a special dog-friendly version of The Snowman will be available on the Red Button at the same time on Christmas Eve.

The alternative animation has the entire soundtrack sung by Barry White, with the cat in the 7th minute airbrushed into a terracotta gnome.