A spokesperson for Britain’s Department for Brexit has confirmed that our final bill for exiting the European Union has been slashed to ZERO as a result of a late night poker game between the EU negotiator Michel Barnier and the UK’s Brexit Secretary David Davis.
According to a witness who was also involved in the no-limit showdown, the final round developed into a frenzy of raises, with David Davis taking the hand in dramatic style at the last moment.
He said: ‘Both players were throwing all sorts onto the table – Barnier even asked for Juncker’s car keys at one point.’
‘Eventually the betting finished when Davis staked Wales and Barnier agreed to waive all financial obligations as a result of activating Article 50 as a bet.’
‘Davis agreed, and Barnier laid his cards down on the table. He had four kings, and everyone knew at this point that Davis was in trouble.’
‘Davis seemed stunned that Barnier had four kings, and he just said there in silence for a few moments before declaring that he only had two pair.’
‘One of Davis’ junior minister started shouting at him at this point for ‘going all that way on two rotten pair,’ and Barnier leaned over to collect his winnings and Wales.’
‘However, at this stage Davis grabbed his arm and reminded him that all cards had to be laid on the table before winnings were claimed.’
‘While Barnier was laughing at him and mocking him, he revealed his two pair. He had a pair on aces, and another pair of aces.’
‘It then emerged that he had four aces.’
‘In all of the excitement afterwards, Davis managed to lose Wales on the toss of a coin after forgetting that he had a two-headed coin, but overall it was a good evening.’