With just hours to go until polling day, Theresa May has announced that she is now willing to enter a COALITION after the latest opinion poll results were published.
Speaking to journalists in London, Mrs May outlined how she expects her Conservative government to be formed.
She sakd: ‘After seeing the latest opinion polls, it has now become clear that it probably won’t be the cast-iron ass whooping that I was predicting a few weeks ago.’
‘Therefore, with no real majority in Parliament to speak of, I have made arrangements to form a coalition with Skeletor, Dr Robotnik, Dirty Den from Eastenders, Jabba The Hutt, Cyril Sneer and the guy from Inspector Gadget with the cat.’
‘With this coalition in place, I will be able to seize power and potentially enslave the human race at the same time.’
‘As a back-up, I am also open to coming to an arrangement with the Liberal Democrats.’
The announcement has sent shockwaves through the political world so close to the election, and it came just ten minutes after Jeremy Corbyn ruled out a coalition with the Labour Party.
At the same time, UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has privately admitted that he is open to entering ‘any sort of coalition’ to win a single seat in the House of Commons.
According to Nuttall, he is prepared to ‘timeshare’ any position, taking a place on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays while spending Tuesdays and Thursdays patrolling the White Cliffs of Dover with a large pointy stick.
Sources within the Green Party say that they are ‘open minded’ about any sort of coalition, provided that it is both fairtrade and sustainable.