A number of people across Britain have now called upon the government to just stop twatting around and start running the fucking country again. 

Southend-based voter Bill Thomas, 64, said: ‘I don’t know if any of you have noticed or anything, but we have a Brexit to sort out, an NHS that is on its fucking knees and madmen from ISIS trying to kill everyone.’

‘If you find five minutes spare when you are not listening to some prehistoric lunatic Robbie Coltrane lookalike demanding ‘the gays’ this and ‘marching’ that in return for the support of ten pissing MPs, the people who pay your fucking wages would really appreciate it if the government could just start fucking well governing again.’

‘How about we all just sit down and make Theresa May Prime Minister with Jeremy Corbyn as deputy.’

‘As long as Mrs May promises not to do a ‘2010’ on him and treat him as some kind of buggery accessory then surely that arrangement could work.’

‘They could even let Tim Farron become Minister for Cottage Cheese or something.’

We spoke to Guy Verhofstadt, the Chief Brexit Negotiator of the EU, and he told our Chief Reporter that the current situation is making him ‘piss himself.’

He added: ‘It’s total jokes bruv. They are all squabbling like little bitches over whose Brexit is harder when in reality we could have wrapped this all up in five minutes.’

‘We would have even let them keep the Springsteen box set that we lent them in 2011 as a gesture of good will.’