A piece of Burmese cotton worth 16p has been mysteriously transformed into a £10 t-shirt after an image of a talking cartoon police dog was printed on it.
Scientists are currently trying to explain the discovery and samples of the garment have been removed for laboratory tests.
Dr Marshall Chase is a professor in parental fiscal extraction at the University of Vange, and he told our Chief Reporter that he is ‘baffled’ by the discovery.
He added: ‘We have looked into the image itself, and we cannot understand how such a basic piece of cloth can suddenly be worth more than two Boots meal deals just because it has a cartoon police dog on it.’
‘I have looked into the show in question, and the whole thing is ridiculous.’
‘They all work for some kind of combined emergency service that hasn’t been slashed to the bone by repeated budget cuts, and their little town has microclimates where it can be both winter and summer at the same time.’
‘The deputy mayor is a fucking chicken as well.’
‘The boss is allowed to ride a quad bike at 80 mph on public roads and he’s like twelve years old for Christ’s sake.’
Mum of three Sharon Ryder told us that her children have been affected by this image before, and she believes that the TV show is some sort of psychological brainwashing exercise.’
She said: ‘It must be some sort of way of turning children into sleeper agents.’
‘They act normally while they are watching it on Nick Jr, and then the second that they set foot in Toys ‘R’ Us they suddenly become screaming lunatics.’
‘My eldest daughter threatened to set fire to herself if I didn’t buy her a pack of Skye sanitary towels.’