Mine. This is all mine now.

In a development that is set to send shockwaves through the political establishment, Larry The Cat took full advantage of David Cameron’s resignation today to claim the Prime Minister job for himself.

According to witnesses at the scene, he sneaked into the back of Theresa May’s BMW before the Prime Minister-non-elect set off for Buckingham Palace to accept Queen Elizabeth’s request to form a government, before jumping out and reaching Her Majesty while Mrs May was still saying ‘hello’ to Buckingham Palace staff.

According to a source, Her Royal Highness was ‘delighted’ to welcome Larry into the top job, and she even remarked that he would only be the second non-human to take up the role after ‘some snake called Tony a few years ago.’

Our source added: ‘Her Majesty was clearly impressed to see how Larry had taken the initiative to basically screw Theresa May over and just try and take the job for himself, and to be fair she just agreed to it in case Larry was thinking of peeing on the steps to mark his new territory.’

‘She could clearly be heard saying ‘Why the bloody hell not? He couldn’t possibly make a bigger cock and balls of it all than the last one.’

However, it would appear that there are growing concerns about Larry’s true intentions for his time as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. 

‘A spokesperson from the human rights organisation Amnesty International said: ‘It is already a well-known fact that all cats are hell-bent on the total destruction of the human race, and so we are concerned that The Queen hasn’t been thinking clearly in allowing Larry to steal the Prime Minister job right from under Theresa May’s nose.’

‘Although it was rumoured that Mrs May was going to show a level of leniency towards individuals earning more than £200,000 per year, our concern is that Larry will just glare and show general contempt towards everyone regardless of their social standing.’

In a late development, it has emerged that Larry’s first action after leaving Buckingham Palace was to take a sh*t in Jeremy Corbyn’s North London front garden and refuse to bury it or cover it up with a layer of top soil.