Met Office officials have confirmed that there is a YELLOW SNOW WARNING in place for the county of Essex. In real terms, this means that there is a significant possibility that yellow snow could fall and bring UTTER CHAOS to roads, pavements, fields and other flat areas. 

Local frozen water expert Mick Kelvin said: ‘In the event that yellow snow falls in Essex, it is important to be very careful when taking a sledge out to get some wintry fun. It is a good idea to remain on your back at all times, and this will ensure that your mouth is kept at a safe distance from the yellow snow’s surface. As temperatures are expected to rise sharply after the initial landfall of yellow snow, homeowners with a garden may wish to consider hosing all surfaces down thoroughly.’

Essex primary school officials are advising parents to stay tuned to social media pages with large amounts of paid advertising for the latest yellow snow announcements – many schools are scattering Domestos over outdoor areas as a precaution. A spokesperson for Southend Council confirmed: ‘While supplies of urinal cake are currently at a critical level across the South Essex area, we are delighted at the community spirit on show in Southend – many residents have already emptied their bathroom cabinets to ensure that our streets remain disinfected during this forecasted adverse weather.’