Southend News Network’s Christmas song that tells the whole world about the horrors of the Dartford Crossing went LIVE this morning!

Dartford Tolls, a festive tune sung by the mega-talented Annie Humphrey, is basically a two-minute piss-take about the extortionate toll charges, the long queues, the broken promise that it would be free, and above all else the general crapness of the Thames river crossings that join Essex to Kent. 

It doesn’t matter whether you prefer the tunnel or the bridge, our tune sums up EXACTLY what you are thinking every time to use it and think ‘why?’

The song is being released for charity, with all proceeds split evenly between the British Heart Foundation and Shelter. The BHF is a particularly poignant cause as our singer Annie’s father passed away suddenly due to cardiac failure virtually eight years to the day before the song’s release date. 

The super-sweary version has had more than 1.2m views on Facebook and YouTube, and there is also a ‘suitable for work’ version that you will hopefully hear on the radio – this is used in the official music video. The song has been released via Nub Music, and it is being distributed by The Orchard Music who are owned by Sony – yes, you heard that right … SONY!

Both versions are out now on iTunes/Apple Music, Amazon, Spotify, Deezer … it’s basically everywhere! Don’t forget to download it, stream it, and most importantly of all TELL EVERYONE. 

If this tune flies off the virtual shelves, it will raise a heap of money for two great causes, and it will also tell the people in charge of the Dartford Crossing that we have had enough of their shenanigans. You know what to do …

UPDATE: Apologies to everyone who has been stuck in the download queues this morning. When the tailback gets to 14 miles we will open the server and let everyone download it for free. 

ANOTHER UPDATE: We apologise that a number of non-UK visitors are currently able to download the song without paying. We are investigating the problem.