A 43-year-old woman from Southend has confirmed that she is ‘about to explode’ after being made to wait more than three minutes to be served at their basket-only checkout area. 

Our Chief Reporter caught up with Petunia Spooge-Gently to find out about the ‘outrage’ of her 180-second quest to purchase a bag of kale and a copy of Woman’s Own. 

She said: ‘It’s bad enough that a mobility scooter was parked in front of the organic aubergine display while the occupant had stood up to browse elsewhere, but this is the final insult as far as I am concerned.’

‘There is only one person serving, and she has the nerve to stand there and talk to the person in front of me about her visit to a homeopath. I do have plans this evening you know – Tabitha has Aqua Karate at 8.30.’

‘I’ve been gently swaying from one side to the other while wearing a scornful expression for the last minute, but they don’t seem to be getting the message – at least in Lidl they just want you paid up and out the place as quickly as possible.’

Shortly after this discussion, Mrs Spooge-Gently just approached the checkout and threw her shopping down anyway to force the issue, before spending a full three minutes hunting around in her pockets for the £2.30 that she could have easily calculated and found beforehand. 

A spokesperson for Waitrose said: ‘While we encourage all checkout staff to generally converse with customers and act like compassionate human beings to some extent, we also train staff to balance this with the needs of our customers to meet vital deadlines for after-school clubs, still life art classes and book group meetings where a number of people give the impression that they have actually read the book in question over a bottle of some pretentious French anti-freeze from err … Waitrose.’