Fans of tennis from all over the world have reacted with disgust and outrage after the UK’s governing body for tennis announced that the annual Wimbledon tournament will relocate to Milton Keynes from 2017. According to UK Tennis Confederation chief Francesca Chise, moving the ‘iconic’ British sporting event to Buckinghamshire will make the event accessible to more people than ever before. 

Ms Chise said: ‘It’s clear that the tournament could not carry on for much longer in the current location, and so we secretly invited business leaders to bid for the Wimbledon Tennis Franchise so that the championships could continue for many more years in one form or another. We are delighted to say that the town of Milton Keynes submitted the most convincing franchise application – therefore the board of directors decided that this would be the perfect place to host Wimbledon from this point forward. The transport links to MK are simply fantastic, and the whole proposed Wimbledon complex will be under one giant roof to stop the persistent rain delays that plague the current setup.’

She added: ‘This is a sporting business model for the future. One day, we could well see Roland Garros move to Sweden and the US Open take place in Iraq – it’s all a question of best value for money.’

In a shocking development, Southend News Network has discovered that a group of players including Rafa Nadal and Novak Djokovic intend to launch a breakaway Wimbledon tournament round the back of a housing estate in Tooting.