A source close to the ex-England and Everton football star Wayne Rooney has confirmed that a blood sample taken from the player shortly after his arrest for drink driving tested positive for Um Bongo, Fruit Shoot and Capri Sun. 

He said he was ‘surprised’ at the presence of the latter, and that Rooney ‘normally struggles to get the straw in and just starts thumping the pouch in frustration.’

He added: ‘It’s a well known fact that Wayne likes a few Um Bongos on a night old as he enjoys seeing how many of the jungle animals he can name without asking his handler for help.’

‘The manufacturer sends him a colouring book and some crayons every time he is photographed with a carton – Colleen puts them all in a cupboard for when he is a bit older.’

We asked him if the rumours about police finding 35 packs of Smarties in the glove box were true.

He said: ‘That is correct. He collects the letters from the ends and tries to make words out of them.’

‘He managed to do ‘the’ and ‘A’ the other day with a bit of help, although he keeps trying to spell ‘old’ with ‘xxx’ in the middle for some reason.’

It’s been a turbulent few weeks for a footballer after a move to Arsenal fell apart at the last minute when manager Arsène Wenger refused to have a tyre on a rope installed at their London Colney training ground.

According to media reports, the deal depended upon Arsenal managing to offload Theo Walcott the other way to Manchester United – he failed his medical after attempting to stand up unassisted.