Motorists are being warned to expect ‘huge delays’ this morning after Sadler’s Farm roundabout was blocked by an extra-long lorry  – it has been reported that the driver of the Lithuanian heavy goods vehicle has stopped in the middle of the junction to consult a copy of the 1991 Reader’s Digest Book of the Road. With queues already building up along both directions of the A130 and the A13 as far back as Victoria House Corner in Hadleigh, thousands of commuters and parents on the school run look set to have their days ruined while he consults a wildly out of date map book. 

Only giving his name as ‘Nigel’, he spoke to our Chief Reporter by telephone a few minutes ago. He said: ‘I am supposed to be pulling a double-trailer full of Aubergines to somewhere called Bowers Gifford, but I cannot recognise any part of this junction in my atlas. All I see in my book is a map of a roundabout with lots of little roundabouts around it, yet now it seems to be one great big roundabout win traffic flowing freely. I had no choice but to stop my vehicle in the middle of the roundabout while I try to work out what to do next, but unfortunately the local drivers are not giving me time to think – someone just pulled up next to me and called me a ‘seely forine cahnt’ and I have to look that up as well now.’

A spokesperson for Castle Point Circulation said: ‘We have dispatched a team of officers and counsellors to the scene who will be giving Nigel assistance at this difficult time. We strongly advise motorists who are trying to  leave Canvey Island to take an alternative route, whatever that may be. Someone has told us about another bridge that runs very close to Benfleet station that is always gridlocked because of the smallest little thing, but that all sounds too mad to be true.’