Theresa May has apologised after she confessed that she ‘made a mistake’ during an ITV interview when she was asked about the naughtiest thing that she had ever done. In a statement issued this afternoon, she admitted that she meant to say ‘fields of weed’ instead of ‘fields of wheat.’
The statement read: ‘After watching a recording of the interview with Julie Etchingham, Mrs May realised that she had made a huge error when she answered a question about the naughtiest thing that she has ever done.’
‘She actually meant to say that she used to run through fields of weed as she feels that the younger folk would be able to identify with that as it’s proper gangster.’
‘If Jeremy Corbyn can get the support of the Grime Community, there’s no reason why Theresa cannot get the stoners on board.’
‘When she mentioned fields of wheat and said that ‘the farmers weren’t too pleased about that,’ what she actually meant to say was ‘those pimp daddy dealers of Oxfordshire wanted to bust a cap in her ass.’
‘Theresa and her friends used to call it ‘Ganja Galivanting,’ and on one occasion one of them left a lit cigarette behind and the fire spread pretty quickly through the field next to the old Witney Bifter factory.
‘The local village’s pizza take away reported a 1400% rise in sales on that night, and she fondly remembers seeing a number of Orange Tango lorries arriving.’
A close childhood friend of Theresa added: ‘Ah yes I remember that night well. My elderly parents lived next door to the inferno, and I can still see them frantically tearing up a copy of House and Hound into tiny little roaches.’