A survey of 5,000 reindeer from all over the planet has revealed that a shocking 92% of them are currently bored out of their fucking minds.

The research was carried out by the University of West Shoeburyness after top psychiatric doctors revealed that referrals for reindeer and other seasonal animals have increased for the third year in a row.

Dr Nathan Bleezen of the UWS said: ‘We can never underestimate the psychological impact of suddenly becoming unwanted and unfashionable within the space of just a few days.’

‘With peak reindeer season not really getting underway until the beginning of November, that ten-month gap can also create a huge financial hardship.’

‘I even saw one report last August about a pack of reindeer that had to resort to foraging in the bins behind KFC on Southend High Street.’

‘One of them accidentally ingested a whole tub of Zinger sauce and the council had to send a specialist team of environmental hygienists out to deal with it.’

‘We have street patrols all over the town to try and make sure that the most vulnerable of them are safe at night, but often they are spotted on the Kursaal Estate looking for their next fix.’

We asked Dr Bleezen if local reindeer have also been affected by the economic downturn.’

He said: ‘The economy has a huge role to play in their mental wellbeing.’

‘More and more unscrupulous business owners are now resorting to sticking a pair of plastic antlers on a black Labrador instead.’

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