Huge names from the worlds of showbusiness and politics have been gathering in the USA for the final of SMUG ORANGE BASTARD 2016.
In a surprise twist, Interim/Acting/Temporary/Never Again leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party Nigel Farage MEP made it to the final after winning the EU Referendum Playoff in June.
His opponent and the bookies’ favourite Donald Trump said that it was ‘an honour’ to be facing ‘Mr Brexit,’ although he admitted that he expected to come out on top.
President-Erect Trump said: ‘My mantra in life and business has always been to grab everything by the pussy, and sweet Jesus there’s so much to grab.’
‘I’ve always admired Barry for the way that he won the Brexit World Series for the East London Purpleheads, but I think that I have this one in the bag.’
‘I’ve won the presidency, and I have no intention of buggering off and leaving everyone else to clean up my steaming pile of dog shit.’
We asked Mr Farage about his chances, and he told our Chief Reporter that he was just ‘delighted to be involved.’
He added: ‘Whoever wins the final, it is a victory for the working man or female man. We’ve both achieved so much this year and taken it to big business and big politics.’
‘Nothing says ‘we’re socking it to the elite’ like standing in front of a big shiny gold-plated wall wearing suits that are worth more than the national debt of Tanzania.’