The Spanish foreign minister Estrella San-Miguel has confirmed that all British nationals who say ‘servezzers’ will be DEPORTED once the United Kingdom has left the European Union.
It has also been confirmed that anyone who makes a hand gesture ‘like a real ale pump’ and holds up two fingers will also be immediately ejected from the Spanish Republic.
He added: ‘Once the withdrawal is complete, we will have the legal authority to apply our own criteria for any British nationals who remain in the country.’
‘While we welcome ongoing investment in the Costa Del Sol’s narcotics industry, we simply can’t allow people to remain in our great nation if they can’t even ask for a f*cking lager without waving their arms around and shouting the word ‘beer’ like the waiter is standing 100ft away.’
We asked the minister to comment on rumours that some Brits will try to evade the new measures by tanning to the extent that they appear Pakistani.
He replied: ‘We are currently training immigration officers to spot this form of fraud. For example, there are not many devout Muslims who walk around with a three-inch Soverign and a copy of The Sun rolled up under their arm.’
A spokesperson for the French Foreign Ministry added that similar measures will be imposed for anyone asking for a bill in a café by writing on their palm with their index finger.
Jean-Claude Valise said: ‘It’s just the word ‘addition’ in a French accent for Christ’s sake. They can even leave off the ‘s’il vous plaît’ like most Parisiens.’