A number of Southend secondary schools have been evacuated over suspect packages, and the local schools chief has warned both pupils and teachers to remain vigilant at all times. Shortly after 8.45am on Monday, Southend News Network received confirmation that Burdett Avenue Secondary Academy had been evacuated, and there were further evacuations during the morning at Royston Avenue Vocational Modern and Warrior Square Foundational College – all three schools were open again by 10am. 

A statement from Dr Clive Gland at Burdett Avenue Secondary Academy confirmed that an evacuation had taken place. He said: ‘While pupils were arriving for school this morning, one of our female pupils noticed that three of our boys had arrived at school with tissue paper stuffed down the front of their trousers – she followed the correct procedure and reported these suspect packages to a member of staff. Once the alarm had been raised, we calmly instructed all pupils to leave the building for a thorough inspection in the playground, and it was discovered that 17 of our male pupils had been taking measures to make their intimate areas appear larger with tissue paper or hockey socks.’

A separate statement from Warrior Square Foundational College read: ‘One of our own male pupils raised the alarm at 9.05am when he observed that a girl in Year 10 had arrived at school with a bust line that he described as ‘well bigger than normal,’ and our deputy head went to investigate closer. After all pupils followed our pre-prepared suspect package alert, he found that 19 girls were in school with artificially-inflated breasts of at least three cup sizes above normal.’

Maurice Peacock is head of Southend Secondary Education Delivery, and he gave our chief reporter official confirmation that these three schools had been forced to lead evacuations due to suspect package alerts. He said: ‘We must remind all pupils that our schools are places of learning – attracting a potential mate is something for the weekend only while visiting a local amusement arcade or discotheque. After these security scares, we have instructed all teaching and non-teaching staff in the area to pay close attention to their pupils’ chests and trouser areas until further notice.’


  1. “attracting a potential mate is something for the weekend only while visiting a local amusement arcade or discotheque”

    Kids don’t know how lucky they are these days. All we had to look forward to was behind the cycle sheds. Still it least it was something to do between lessons.