More than 500 Southend residents have signed a petition to protest against a planned INTERNET GENERATION PLANT which was approved by local planning officers this morning. According to the proposal, the IGP will be able to provide South Essex with more than 2000 terabytes of Internet per week. However, locals are concerned that the waste data from the plant will pollute the nearby Prittle Brook, and there are calls for the project to be scrapped. 

A spokesperson for the plant’s operator EDF said: ‘The Internet demands of Southend and Basildon are growing every week, and BT, Sky and Talk Talk are struggling to keep up. Therefore, this new generation plant near Fairfax Drive in Southend will help all local providers to provide ethical and sustainable Internet. By using solar and wind energy and converting it into raw Internet, we are able to keep waste data at a minimum, and our other plants are already on course to meet their failed download emissions targets for 2016. When our plant in Southend is up and running, it will be capable of providing enough Internet to run every Facebook buy and sell and parenting advice group in the area simultaneously.’

Pat Smelch is leading the campaign to get the project scrapped. He said: ‘The polluted data that will be released into the Prittle Brook is a scandal. They keep telling us that it won’t be a problem but all of that bad data has to go somewhere, and we are worried that our beautiful stream is going to be riddled with binary toxins and other cyber nasties. On top of this, the noise pollution from the plant will be too much for many Southend residents to bear – our researchers have told us that millions of YouTube music videos are loaded every minute and so a significant proportion of those must be in South Essex.’