After weeks of speculation, Southend News Network is delighted to announce that it is supporting the VOTE LEAVE campaign, and over the next week we will be actively involved in the movement encouraging Britain to leave the European Union. After an awful lot of debate and discussion at Southend News Network HQ, it was decided that the VOTE LEAVE campaign would make the most sense for an independent and forward-thinking United Kingdom, and more importantly taking this stance also has the potential to upset and enrage the largest group of people. This analysis was carried out by reading the comments that were posted on SNN’s Facebook page when a humourous photo was shared with a man holding a piece of paper with ‘Vote Leave’ on it.
The Chief Reporter of Southend News Network met the Chief Reporter of Southend News Network to explain this decision. He said: ‘It has now become clear that there is only one sensible way to vote in the EU referendum on Thursday 23rd June. As far as we are concerned, voting to leave makes sense on every possible level, and more to the point it is certain that declaring our support for the VOTE LEAVE campaign will piss off many more people than if we came out and said that we wanted Britain to remain. We are hopeful that this declaration alone will lead to a suitable level of outrage, but to be absolutely safe we have also included two images in our official VOTE LEAVE banner that depict the saddest deaths from the history of Disney movies. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when Ellie and Carl’s long and childless marriage in Up was brought to an end by her untimely death, and the killing of Bambi’s mum permanently traumatised millions of children around the world. To be honest, we were tempted to include Mufasa and that other fish from Finding Nemo, but we didn’t want to get banned from Facebook.’
He added: ‘We want a future for Britain without uncontrolled immigration. We want a future for Britain where we don’t send trillions of pounds to the EU every single day and get very little back. We want a future for Britain where utter morons can spout entirely fabricated bollocks about either side of an argument on social media under the pretense that they love their cuntry. SNN’s economic flimflam experts have accurately estimated that every man, woman, child and cat will be better off outside the EU to the amount of £93,000 per year, and so this is an opportunity that cannot be ignored.’
‘On the other hand, if our readers get very upset and our web traffic falls as a result, we will consider switching to the remain campaign instead.’