At Southend News Network, we are delighted to say that we have just managed to get everyone’s favourite news outlet The S*n to publish one of our made-up news stories as REAL NEWS.

This has to be our best-ever win.

24 hours ago, we published a ‘news story’ about a baby getting kicked out of a vegan party for wearing a cow onesie – including the fact that the baby was called ‘Tanya Hyde’ and the vegan mum was called Esmeralda Soy-Abbinton.

A vegan whose name was ‘soya bean’ – ground breaking stuff.

Anyway, we had the usual reaction of people who ‘got it’ and people who didn’t, but on Saturday morning we received an email from a photo guy at The S*n wanting to sort out an image.

Yeah we’ll syndicate them. We’ll syndicate them GOOD.

Thankfully, our weekend girl Stephanie (made-up, naturally) was very helpful – she set up a fake email account and everything just in case.

Very helpful. Stephanie is our employee of the month.

At this stage we sat and waited with bated breath – surely someone, somewhere was going to twig?

After all, three seconds of Googling ‘Southend News Network’ would have given them all the information required to realise that the whole thing was a big pile of bollocks.

Alas, it was not to be …

Oh look everyone – it’s Tanya.
That poor girl. She got assaulted by vegan fundamentalists.

Now, seeing that the b*stards took it down (it only took them two hours to realise it was a wind up), you’ll all have to make do with these expertly captured screenshots (experts can contact us for the saved HTML and Internet Wayback has a cached text-only version here if anyone wants evidence).

There is also a cached version of the Facebook update here from their Facebook page. It’s a shame that the comments don’t work in this archive – some of them we’re utter belters.

If you don’t see the whole article, open this article in your normal browser instead of Facebook Instant or whatever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

To make matters worse, they currently have another article about fake news with the following paragraph:

Fake news you say?

So there you have it. The Chief Reporter shoves his 8-month-old daughter in a cow onesie, takes a photo, makes up some cock and bull story and The S*n gobbles it all up in their latest quest to demonise vegans.

If any of you are worried about poor Tanya Hyde AKA Chief Reporter Jr, she’s fine.

She’s demanded her own Facebook page now, so everyone had better LIKE IT or she’ll go all ‘diva’ or something …

Daddy. Why do the vegans hate me so?

Just before you all shoot off, we should explain that Southend News Network is all about entertaining people and showing up those who should know better, and we also try to help good causes.

Marcus and Kit Allum – Kit is running the Hackney Half Marathon on 30th April to raise money for Marcus’ physiotherapist treatment

Right now, we are helping a brave local 10-year-old called Marcus who has cerebral palsy and atrioventricular septal heart defect (AVSD).

Local runner Kit Allum is running the Hackney Half Marathon on 30th April to raise funds for Marcus to have specialist physiotherapy so that he can progress towards walking unassisted, and if you want to show your appreciation for us fooling The S*n, this is the best possible way!

Please donate here and share as much as you can. We’ve already pushed it through the first fundraising target!

We raised nearly £18,500 with gift aid for The Trussel Trust recently by running an appeal for Katie Hopkins’ Legal Fees, so we know that we can make a huge difference for this lad as well. 

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