A spokesperson for Southend Borough Council has insisted that there is ‘no danger whatsoever’ to cyclists after a controversial cycle lane opened on Southend Seafront. 

According to local bicycle users, the lane effectively forces riders to jump over a crash barrier to continue their journey, but these claims have been dismissed by those responsible for its design. 

Southend’s head of sustainable transport and sustainability Nigel Nopoll told our Chief Reporter that the current levels of anger were ‘an unacceptable overreaction.’

He said: ‘Every time we try and expand this town’s network of cycle routes, the very people who will benefit try and find fault.’

‘We’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.’

‘These toutes are incredibly costly to install, and these funds could have easily been diverted into parking enforcement or shared space research.’

We asked Mr Nopoll about the presence of a crash barrier that could cause more accidents than it prevents. 

He said: ‘This section of the new cycle route runs parallel to a known accident spot for cars and other road vehicles – this means that by law we’re obliged to put the barrier in place.’

‘To be honest, it’s not too much of an inconvenience for cyclists in the grand scheme of things – they could even do some sort of stunt jump over it like Tony Hawk or one of those people from Kerrang magazine.’

Andy Crinkle is a representative of the Cyclists’ Union for North Thames, and he told our Newsdesk that the cycle lane was ‘a disgrace.’

He said: ‘I am responsible for speaking out for all cyclists in South Essex or the North Thames area, and this has to be the biggest insult yet to my incredibly-oppressed people.’

‘The suggestion that we could simply do some sort of stunt jump over the barrier is ridiculous. The take-off wouldn’t be the problem, but the landing would cause the average male cyclist a great deal of discomfort.’

‘These so-called experts really have no idea about the physics of lycra.’