This 'iconic' building could be first to go under the plans to 'dismantle Southend.'

A Southend News Network investigation has EXCLUSIVELY revealed that there will shortly be a vote on the Southend Civil Planning Committee to decide if the borough of Southend should be dismantled and then rebuilt from scratch – this action would include homes, businesses, roads and tourist attractions.

Dean Thwack, leader of the committee, sent an email to all interested parties with his reasons for recommending the plans. He said: ‘There are some structures areas in the borough that are almost 100 years old or more, and these are accompanied by a variety of new developments that are pretty idiotic to say the least – have you seen those student flats near Sainsburys that look like a giant Lego set?’

He continued: ‘No town needs two indoor shopping centres, joined by a High Street that is full of phone case shops, and other shops that aspire to be phone case shops. Nobody seems to know how to use the Golden Mile for driving or walking, and the less said about Victoria Gateway the better.’

The next 38 paragraphs went on to describe every area of the borough that he would like to demolish, before he outlined his plans for the big rebuild.

He said: ‘Every major project on this scale needs to start from humble beginnings. I have picked up a road play mat from the Early Learning Centre, and New Southend will be modelled on this – including a municipal duck pond. By 2045, we will be able to boast a logical and uniform town layout that Milton Keynes would kill for.’

In a late development, Mr Thwack has been arrested on substance abuse charges.