Your Chief Reporter meeting senior council media officials at Civic Centre.

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In a move that has surprised many people in the Southend area, Southend News Network can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that Southend News Network has now been recognised as an OFFICIAL MEDIA OUTLET by Southend Borough Council. After hours of negotiations earlier today at Civic Centre, the Chief Reporter emerged with senior council media officials for a photo opportunity and to address the waiting public.

The officials confirmed: ‘We are delighted that a Southend News Network representative decided to take a break from their high-quality reporting and meet with us. In recent months, it has become clear that Southend News Network is one of the fastest growing media outlets in the local area in terms of their social media reach, regardless of whether or not their stories are actually true. Usually we only officially engage with organisations who report events that actually take place in the real world, but in these circumstances we are prepared to make an exception.’

They added: ‘We made it clear to the Chief Reporter that we need at least three weeks’ warning before every story goes live so that we can prepare a social media response. After lengthy negotiations, this was cut down to three minutes – these meetings are all about ‘give and take.’

The Southend News Network Chief Reporter added: ‘To be honest, we never thought that our organisation would be recognised by one of the main targets of our unique brand of local news reporting – nevertheless we are delighted that they have given in. We are now simply too powerful to ignore, but at the same time we would rather this than being attacked by a pack of Council-funded pitbull terriers or something.’

He then said: ‘People might think that we are letting Southend Borough Council get off lightly here, but in fact this will only make us even more determined to hold them to account on behalf of the good people of Southend. Alternatively, if we get bored with playing nice, we’ll probably just berate them even more. The coffee wasn’t too bad though – we’re undecided.’