A picture with absolutely no local relevance shows an individual walking through deep floodwater in a place that isn't Southend. What if this happened in Southend? Buy our news.
A picture with absolutely no local relevance shows an individual walking through deep floodwater in a place that isn't Southend. What if this happened in Southend? Buy our news.
A picture with absolutely no local relevance shows an individual walking through deep floodwater in a place that isn’t Southend. What if this happened in Southend? Buy our news.

With all of the recent news about awful flooding in the North of England, Southend News Network has been carrying out an investigation to find out exactly what safeguards are in place to protect the Southend area in the event of extreme flooding. Past incidents in 2013 and 2014 have given local residents a taste of how seafront businesses are really being looked after by both the local authority and various water/drainage companies, but your chief reporter has been wondering about what would be done if things got any worse.

According to documentation that we have seen, plans are in place for the construction of an ark to ensure that some of the most important councillors and reality TV personalities in the area are able to reach safety – figures that we have seen reveal that the town’s economy and infrastructure would literally collapse if these individuals were unable to access Twitter and Facebook. The guest list for this vessel reveals that while a number of media outlets have space reserved on board, there will be no provision for employees of the Southend News Network.

Looking further into the information that we have received, it also appears that £100m has been spent on flood defence technology for properties that sit at the top of the cliffs in Southend On Sea and Westcliff – the official reason given for this expenditure is ‘additional protection in the event that unwanted floodwater flows uphill.’ In addition to the above figure, an undisclosed sum has been set aside to divert the Prittle Brook into the English Channel if there is an imminent danger to residents of Leigh On Sea.

CHIEF REPORTER’S COMMENT

Our thoughts are naturally with the people who have been affected by the flooding that has been caused by Storm Desmond. However, these events are taking place many hundreds of miles away, and from a local news perspective we have found it INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to use these events to create a news story that is relevant to our own audience in Southend On Sea. We could always run a headline along the lines of ‘Event that has nothing to do with Southend is actually really important on a local level because …….,’ but that would just be nasty and worthless sensationalism.

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