Could this be the reason why there are always so many cars in the Waitrose Southend 'Click and Collect' area at night?

After a lengthy investigation, Southend News Network has discovered that there is a ‘very high’ possibility that a weekly gathering in the Click and Collect area of the Waitrose car park in Southend is in fact a regular SWINGING event. According to an inside source within the group, they are informally referred to as the ‘Click and Collectors’ by those who are in the know.

Our attention was first drawn to the gatherings when local residents noticed that during evening hours, this section of the car park is always full up – this is in spite of the fact that very few people are actually going into the store through the dedicated entrance to collect groceries that have been ordered online.

The source, who doesn’t want to be named for reasons of confidentiality, said: ‘We meet every Monday evening at around 7.30pm, and if people want to watch from the outside of the vehicles then we tend to turn a blind eye. The timings are ideal – one can finish up, clean up, zip up, and then wander inside for a complimentary tea or coffee. We don’t really like the term ‘dogging’ as it gives the impression that canines are involved somehow, and this hasn’t happened in a Waitrose car park since the Cromer incident of 2005.’

He added: ‘We used to congregate in the Aldi by the sewage works in Prittlewell, but eventually the smell became incredibly off-putting. When they rotated all of the parking markings by 90 degrees, this was the final straw. It was a shame because more and more middle-class families were using this supermarket.’


  1. Whilst I don’t wish to spoil anyone’s fun could the Swingers Club please avoid parking in front of the double doors as they can block access into the local weight-watchers group.

    1. Whilst I sympathise this wasn’t a problem for the Low Self-Esteem Support group as our members prefer to use the small service entrance off the side alley at the rear of the store.