A spokesperson for Greater Anglia has confirmed that this morning’s severe disruption on the line was caused by a franchise that overrun at Shenfield. 

Head of Customer Engagement Nathan Barely said: ‘We would like to apologise for any inconvenience and delays this morning, but the circumstances were beyond our control.’

‘Our franchise was supposed to have been cancelled years ago when everyone realised what an absolute shower of shite we are, but unforeseen complications have led to this arrangement carrying on like some sort of self-perpetuating cycle of doom.’

‘We have had some issues with engineering works as well and scheduling, but that’s not our fault.’

‘Nasty people in orange jackets keep turning up with the wrong type of spanner. Every time we complain they just laugh at us and tell us that nobody else knows how to use an angle grinder.’

‘By the way, while we have your attention, we’re sticking fares up soon. LOLs.’

In a bizarre coincidence, Southend News Network has released a song today all about the crapness of c2c and Greater Anglia.