Waitrose really should have learnt by now that putting bald men on the front cover of their Weekend magazine isn’t a smart remove – remember what they did to Heston Blumenthal a while ago?

Anyway, they were obviously very excited about Masterchef presenter and all-round telly food genius Gregg Wallace coming on board. So excited in fact that they managed to create a fantastic example of modern art where the top of Gregg’s head is used multiple times to create an image of a large penis. 

The guys over at Angry People In Local Newspapers* spotted this one, and there are so many possible jokes. Perhaps the best one is ‘Cooking doesn’t get HARDER than this.’

It’s all a bit silly really when everyone knows that Gregg is a big fan of hats. Would it not have made more sense to photograph him in his trusty black flat cap that wouldn’t have led to a phallic newspaper dispenser?

The whole sorry business is pretty unfair actually when there are so many other celebrities from the world of TV food land who are more deserving of being portrayed as a giant penis. 

We would name them here, but they would probably sue. Some of them even visit Southend once in a blue moon. 

*By the way, please make sure that you go and like that Facebook page. They spend hours every day trawling the Internet for gems like this.