Photo Credit: Andy Longhurst

Passengers on a Ryanair flight from Lithuania to the UK have been charged an extra €29.99 each after an RAF jet escorted the aircraft to London Stansted. 

According to passengers on the flight, each of them was handed a bill after landing for the optional extra that would be mandatory as everyone had benefitted from it.

Chief Executive Michael O’ Leary said: ‘Passengers these days want extra peace of mind when landing, and 30 euros a pop is a small price to pay what with fuel and Brexit.’

’It will be optional. Anyone who doesn’t want to take advantage of it is free to disembark before the aircraft reaches the runway.’

’Actually, wonder if the RAF guys fancy a bit of flying work on the side.’

A spokesperson for Easyjet confirmed that there are no plans to offer an escort to flights landing at London Southend Airport.

According to a recent survey, the South Essex airport was rated ‘slightly less safe than Raqqa.’

Statistics from Essex Police revealed that assaults at London Southend Airport are up 64% compared to last year due to the amount of people who walk out of the terminal, realise that they are bloody miles away from London and then kick the shite out of someone in frustration.

There are also concerns about rocket launchers that have been spotted in Canewdon – the Essex village is rumoured to be a hotbed of fundamentalism after the mayor came out in sympathy with the people of Canvey Island.

The peninsular declared itself to be an Islamic caliphate in September.

Photo Credit: Andy Longhurst