A spokesperson for Royal Mail has confirmed that Postman Pat has been temporarily removed from all duties after an allegation was made that he has been abusing ‘Sorry, we missed you’ cards at various properties in Greendale.
According to one source, he had been filmed filling in the cards and putting them through doors before ringing the doorbell on FIVE SEPARATE OCCASIONS in a single day in September.
He added: ‘Our surveillance team has been aware of Pat’s behaviour for a while. Everything came to a head last week when he used one of the cards to write Mrs Goggins a sexually-explicit note about clearing out his sack.’
‘Most of the time local residents cannot even read his handwriting on the cards, and we have even had reports that he isn’t bothering to knock or ring before not bothering to put letters through the door.’
‘He used to start early in the morning, just as day is dawning, but lately he has been rolling in half-cut at 10.30. He gets very abusive with the local sorting office staff if he isn’t able to get home in time for Doctors on BBC1.’
‘We tried speaking to him without having to instigate the official Royal Mail disciplinary procedure, but he wasn’t willing to sit down and discuss any grievances that he may have. He even threatened us that he would ‘take Jess and f**k off to Yodel.’
‘Reverend Timms has tried to intervene on a number of occasions lately, but it seems that he has very strong feelings about cuts to the postal service and private sector involvement. He got pretty wound up when Ted Glen made a killing from Royal Mail shares and closed the handyman business. Also, it seems that the move from plasticine to CGI has hit him pretty hard as well.’
This is the second time that Pat has hit the headlines in the last year, after he was previously caught driving on a provisional licence.
At the time, he vowed to ‘clean up his act’ and return to being a pillar of the community.