Illiterate campaigners from all over Essex have been calling for The Vatican to reconsider their decision to canonise Theresa May.
The shock announcement means that she will immediately be referred to publically as the Right Honorable Saint Theresa May PM.
Malcolm Jones of the UKIA branded the decision as ‘shameful,’ and he told Southend News Network that Mrs May hasn’t achieved anywhere near enough in her life to be considered for such a prominent honour.
He added: ‘She’s only been in the bloody job for five minutes, and already they are making her a saint!’
‘Whatever can we expect next? George Osborne to be deified for his services to the poor?’
‘You really have to wonder what they are smoking over there to come to this sort of decision.’
However, in a brief poll of 250 people in Basildon Town Centre, 95% of them supported the decision for the prime minister to be canonised.
Basildon resident Terry Bentnose said: ‘It’s a great idea and I’m all in favour of it. In fact, I’d happily like to light the f*****g fuse.’