You may all be aware by now of Paul O’Grady’s shocking outburst on Channel 5’s revival of Blind Date about Southend being a ‘shithole for single mothers.’
When he found out that one of the show’s ‘lucky’ couples would be sent for a date to our beloved Jewel In The Crown of the Essex Riviera, he said some very nasty things.
In full, he said: ‘Fancy sending them to that shithole. That place is full of single mothers. Oh my god – what are you trying to do? Fucking hell. I wouldn’t even go down there for a shit.’
First of all, on a general level, what the actual motherfucking fuck have you done to Blind Date?
In Cilla’s day, the worst you could expect was a raunchy bit of Carry On innuendo.
However, let’s get to the real issue here!
You have slandered our great town, in a way that Southend News Network would never dream of doing.
Yes, it can be a bit of a shithole. But you know what mate? It’s OUR SHITHOLE, and we’re fucking proud of it.
Therefore, we are demanding a FULL APOLOGY as soon as possible.
Not a weasel-like retraction from Channel 5 as part of a statement, but an email to email@example.com from a verifiable address.
If you decide to ignore this demand, and 9am on Monday passes without as much as a peep from you, we will be left with no option other than to retaliate.
Mr O’Grady, the clock is ticking …