Parents across South Essex have been expressing their OUTRAGE after their children were forced to answer a question on their GCSE Maths exam that is clearly offensive about both the town of Southend and the people that live there. An investigation has already been launched, with officials at the Edexcel exam board promising that no harm or ill-feeling was intended towards the area. 

According to a leaked photo that has been seen by Southend News Network, we can confirm that the alleged question was included on the Higher Level Maths paper – this means that it would have been seen by all students aiming for grades up to A*. In a further shocking twist, it has emerged that another anti-Essex question was included on the foundation paper for grades U up to C. Although the content is now being investigated, invigilators and moderators have confirmed that no action will be taken with grading and marking. 

On the higher paper, question 7 clearly reads: ‘If Darren enters a seafront-based 20mph average speed limit zone in a 1994 Mini Metro that has had £24,000 of modifications, how many times would he need to drive to Pier Hill and back before a 15-year-old girl is impressed enough to climb into the back seat and grease his weasel?’ The foundation level question is also controversial, with the paper opening with: ‘Michael overpays £5000 per month to rent his High Street shop under the pretence that footfall will increase as more people visit the seafront. With net losses of £1000 per month and an overdraft of £10000 remaining, how long will it be until an Eastern European businessman turns it into a phone case shop?’

Comments

  1. Clearly very insulting.

    No Southend youth is going to be able to afford £24,000 of modifications to a Mini Metro and no Southend shop keeper can afford a rent overpayment let along £5000 /month.

    The exam board should be ashamed!

  2. What a stupid question “how many times would he need to drive to Pier Hill and back before a 15-year-old girl is impressed enough to climb into the back seat and grease his weasel?”

    Clearly the ‘Darren’ question takes no account as to (1) whether it is raining or not and (2) how impressive Darren’s weasel is and (3) whether the 15yr old’s mother spots Darren first and gets in there quickly.

    These mathematicians are so clueless.