A number of residents of Vange, a small town within the borough of Basildon in Essex, have come together to launch a campaign to persuade Essex County Council to change the name ‘Vange’ to something else that doesn’t sound like a lady’s ‘rude area.’ According to Ali Fouf-Hair, leader of the Vange Action Group, the town is mocked by outsiders on a regular basis. 

Speaking to our Chief Reporter, Mr Fouf-Hair said: ‘We have been telling Basildon and Essex County Council for a number of years that the name ‘Vange’ invokes all sorts of rude images in the minds of modern Britons, and the latest housing development has been the last straw as far as we are concerned.’

‘All of the little cul-de-sacs have been given quaint street names as has now become traditional, and one in particular has been named ‘Maherry’ after the South African businesswoman Christi Maherry. This means that one of the addresses there will be ‘1 Maherry, Vange’ – this is puerile and it needs to be sorted out.’

‘We have enough problems around here as it is, and we don’t need the whole world laughing at us via Google Maps because they happen to find a town that sounds like a female’s intimate zone.’

Alex Syde-Waize has been running local takeaway Syde-Waize Kebabs on the High Road since 2007, and he told Southend News Network that the town’s name is starting to ruin his business. 

He said: ‘Since Google Maps became popular, people have been calling up twenty of thirty times a day and asking where we are based, before we just hear a lot of sniggering and then they just hang up.’

‘Why do I pay exorbitant business rates to Basildon Council, only for them to ignore our pleas. They could even just merge us with Pitsea as there is nothing rude about that.’

A spokesperson for Basildon Council said: ‘There is absolutely no justification for changing the name of Vange just because a few people refuse to grow up. They had the same issue in Penge in South London a few years ago and eventually everyone saw sense.’

‘If we give in to these ridiculous demands, the people of Wakering will be next because they worry about people adding an extra ‘n’.’