A number of music stars have come together to record a new Band Aid single that will raise money to help Kent migrants who are currently trapped at the Dartford Crossing. 

After Southend News Network EXCLUSIVELY reported that thousands of Kent residents have been causing security chaos at the Dartford Tunnel and Bridge, Bob Geldof and a whole host of other celebrities have been queueing up to help. 

While exact details of the song are still under wraps, a source has confirmed that it will be called They Can’t Get To Thurrock No One Cares. The track includes a number of lyrics about conditions at detention centres in Gravesend. 

A spokesperson for the right-wing organisation Essex First has organised a county-wide boycott of the song. According to Southend Leader Darren Mosley, Essex is already at ‘breaking point.’

He said: ‘The population of Essex simply can’t be allowed to grow and grow. There are already some schools in Southend where English isn’t the first language. This isn’t because there are any foreigners there, the kids are just incomprehensible.’

As a special bonus, people downloading the track from iTunes will receive an extra track free of charge. Noel and Liam Gallagher have reunited to record Don’t Look Back In Ongar – a ballad all about the closure of the Central Line branch from Epping.