McDonalds has just launched their greatest menu item ever but not in the UK and you won’t find that bit out until the end of the article you clickbait-clicking moron.
Unfortunately that new McDonalds item that you just ejaculated over is only being sold for a limited time only somewhere that is fucking miles away from the United Kingdom.
We could have put the word ‘just’ in the title as well but this isn’t The Independent.
A spokesperson for McDonalds UK: ‘We thought that the people of the United Kingdom would love this new item, and so we made sure to launch it exclusively in Bolivia and Antarctica.’
’Thank Christ that the 700 billion people who read Lad Bible will click on a story about it anyway and increase our general brand awareness exponentially.’
In a separate development, it has also been revealed that the burger chain’s secret menu is just normal menu items mixed together for Grade A diabetes candidates.
For example, the McAneurism is just a large chocolate milkshake mixed with a large portion of fries.
If you ask the server nicely, they even make you a Big Big Big Big Mac Mac Mac Mac which is four Big Macs served in individual boxes.
McDonalds expert Hugo Transfat told Southend News Network that he has discovered a hack to get more fries with every purchase.
He said: ‘I wait until my box is empty, and then I go back to the counter and buy some more.’
Reacting to the news of this hack, a journalist at The Sun remarked: ‘I can’t believe we didn’t know this. This changes everything. EVERYTHING.’