A 23-year-old man from Essex has angrily vowed to destroy an entire tin of Quality Street as he was ‘outraged’ after he cracked his tooth on a Toffee Penny.
In a further outburst, Scaffolder Nathan Dipshil also vowed to storm into his nearest Nestlé factory and ‘fuck things up big time.’
He added: ‘I don’t have a problem with Quality Street, most of them have soft centres and taste pretty nice, but my last tin had seventeen Toffee Pennies inside.’
‘The tin before that had twelve, and the one before that had ten – I had to take action for the sake of my children’s future.’
‘I had a long chat with a Purple One and a Strawberry Delight and they just want to distance themselves from the Toffee Penny.’
‘They even told me that inside the tin they just all refer to it as ‘The Rock Hard Disc Of Shite’ and that it has literally no mates.’
‘However, in my view only a complete ban on Quality Street will achieve what needs to be achieved.’
‘I had a similar problem last year when I accidentally chewed an Orange Revel, so I stood outside the corner shop and hurled obscenities at the owner until he agreed to stop selling them.’
We suggested to Mr Dipshil that he could simply spend a few minutes sorting through the tin and removing any Toffee Pennies before enjoying the rest the sweets.
Angrily he replied: ‘What exactly will that achieve? As soon as I take that soft approach next thing we know one of them will disguise itself as a Honeycomb Crunch and I’ll be back at the dentist again.’