A 37-year-old man has been telling Southend News Network about the horror of PASSING OUT while he was reading a 150-word Facebook post by a Southend mum without a single punctuation mark.
According to Matthew Rowley, he saw the post in his News Feed while he was on his lunch break at Greggs in Southend. He said: ‘I noticed that one of my mum friends was worried about a dark mark that had appeared on her son’s back.’
‘As I was reading more and more of the post, I noticed that there were no full stops or commas anywhere, and every line was just flowing into the next. Suddenly, I felt myself go light-headed and that’s when everything went black.’
‘The next thing I remember was waking up at Southend Hospital. A doctor told me that I had suffered a mini-blackout brought on by over-stimulation of the Buysell Lobe of the brain – this is the section of the brain that deals with sentence interpretation.’
‘I’ve blocked my friend from my own Facebook feed now until she learns how to avoid typing like a five-year-old.’
Dr Nathan Kent is a neurology consultant at Southend Hospital, and he told Southend News Network that in 2016 so far there have been more than 500 cases of temporary brain damage caused by a lack of punctuation in Facebook messages.
He said: ‘Most modern smartphones have keyboard buttons for full stops and commas, so there really is no excuse for typing 150 words of utter drivel that could end up killing someone.’
‘In my experience, I have found that the most dangerous posts have shortened misspelled words and meaningless abbreviations. For example, last time I checked a ‘TIA’ was a mini-stroke, as opposed to something you say just in case someone actually manages to understand your 150 words of complete nonsense and provide an answer.’
‘Reading these can put even more strain on the Buysell Lobe, and in my opinion it’s time that Facebook took strong action against repeat offenders who could probably just get the answer they need from Google in three seconds.’