A spokesperson for Unilever has confirmed that their new deodorant LYNX ESSEX will be launching in July 2017 that includes the essences of cigarettes, chips and Lambrini.
According to a company spokesperson, the fragrant ingredients have been chosen carefully to ensure that the product has a ‘unisex’ appeal.
He added: ‘Our Lynx Africa range has been popular for a number of years, and so we have decided to expand our geographical fragrance profile.
‘It comes as a product that will give consumers all over the world the chance to experience the atmosphere of God’s chosen county.’
‘Apart from the standard deodorant that will retail with an RRP of £2.99, it will also be available in a gift set of the deodorant, a bottle of shower gel and a chlamydia testing kit.’
‘We conducted an incredibly thorough round of market research before entering full-scale production, and in site tests in a Basildon nightclub at Festival Leisure Park four out of the five male testers ‘got some’ within 30 minutes.’
‘One individual even got a hand shandy behind the bowling alley with just a minimal application.’
However, there have been a number of complaints from Essex residents that the fragrance is just ‘perpetuating negative Essex stereotypes.’
We took some samples to Southend High Street for members of the public to try, and one disgusted shopper said that the ingredients were ‘shockingly inaccurate.’
Angry Marilyn Throllope added: ‘It is a disgrace that this will be sold all over the world.’
‘I’ve already inhaled it on three occasions, and not once have I detected a wet Staffordshire Terrier or fake tan.’