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Southend News Network can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that a resident of Leigh On Sea has unfollowed them on Facebook – the decision was taken after reading a ‘successive stream’ of stories before coming to the conclusion that the majority of content isn’t real. In a further development, the individual in question has also vowed to tell all of his friends in both the online and offline realms that Southend News Network stories are not real news.

In a statement, Colin Tweed stated: ‘When I first noticed that Southend News Network had launched back in October 2015, I liked their page on Facebook and from that point forward received a daily news story in my feed. However, after reading the story about the mother missing the birth of her own baby at Southend Hospital, I have taken the difficult decision to unlike Southend News Network on Facebook. While I appreciate that there are a number of satirical news websites that cover both national and global issues, I feel that it is highly inappropriate for a single town, borough or county to be mocked on that level.’

Mr Tweed added: ‘Shortly after my official unliking has been processed by the social media network’s server, I will proceed to patrol Facebook and post comments on any Southend News Network stories that are shared to let everyone else know that the content is not 100% genuine. Once I feel that my online work in this area is complete, I will then take to the streets of this town on a one-man crusade that will eventually consign Southend News Network to the media corridors of history. Alternatively, I may just pull my head out of my anus and let it go – I’m undecided.’

In an official response, the media relations team of Southend News Network released the following release: ‘It is always an incredibly sad occasion when one of our social media followers decides to unlike us on Facebook – every single ‘unlike’ is like a dagger in our soul. However, we would be delighted to leave the Facebook door open for Mr Tweed if he decides to return to us in the future. Furthermore, we can also confirm that his one-man crusade to warn the whole world about the ‘truth content’ of our stories is completely unnecessary – we include the tag-line ‘THE LATEST NEWS FROM SOUTHEND, HONEST…’ to ensure that anybody with the ability to both read and understand basic English is able to tell the difference between Southend News Network (bollocks) and The Echo (slightly less bollocks).’

On the FTSE 100000, Southend News Network shares finished the day down by 3% as a result of the unlike.